That's intense
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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