we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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