I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
