Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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