I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
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