What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
My mom asked what the mark on my neck was - I told her I burned it with a straightener.
She believed that the monsterous hickey on your neck was a burn?
well, not really. but then i reminded her that my sister has yet to take that pregnancy test and she conviniently forgot about my hickey
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
Randomize
