I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
Randomize
