So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
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