I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
