I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
Randomize
