What a fucking waste of an outfit
Why do I fail so hard at ironing, when I'm a woman and i should be amazing at it?
because god found you far too good at oral sex and had to make all things even?
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize
