I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
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