just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
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