He disabled his match.com account in front of me
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
Randomize
