Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
You made out with two different species that night
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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