Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
Hello Stephanie, you need to come pick me up at Par Blvrd correctional facility and bring $750-$1000 for bail. I just got a DUI. Thank you.
What!?!?! How are you txting?!
Because this is Officer Reynolds, and I just arrested your boyfriend.
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
Randomize
