I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
Randomize
