nut hugger
I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize
