I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
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