This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize