bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
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