margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
I will pee on everything he values.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
