4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
He better not be in your backpack
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
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