I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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