Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Randomize
