and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
When did we convert life to cartoon?
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
Randomize
