Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Randomize
