Jerry, you need to find god
she looked like the before picture.
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
Randomize
