Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
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