We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
smell my finger.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
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