Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
Sorry about my life...
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize