her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
