Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
The chlamydia really affected his face.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
Randomize
