we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Randomize
