so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
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