she was so not down for the gang bang
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
Green mimosas i think yes
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
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