once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
