clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
I have aggressive nipples.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
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