Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
We are all done wearing pants today
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
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