I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
