OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
Randomize
