does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
