There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
Just woke up in bed, AC on high, with a fresh pack of smokes, an unopened pint of vodka, and a bag w a beef patty w cheese in it. I think my roommate's like the toothfairy or something. Or that was way more Xanax than I needed.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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