I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
Randomize
