a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Randomize
