3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
Randomize
