Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize
