We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
Randomize
