...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
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