Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
