weddingsv make me drug and hornr
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Randomize
