You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
