I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize
