i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
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