fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Randomize
