I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
She's like a pop up book from hell.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
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