I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
Randomize
