During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
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