He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
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